I am in love

29 Jul


His name is Michael Kagwanja Njeru. My first true love.He has no idea that this blog exists. This is the man that has proven to me that true love does exit. I once was not a believer. After the numerous heartbreaks I got tired of searching. When I stopped searching, God brought him to me. More about us coming soon ❤🙏☺

5th June 2016

5 Jun

Hello there, it’s been more than a year. My last post was on 30th May 2015. The time is 6:04pm right now. So much has happened between then and now. I haven’t been as faithful as I had promised. Updating posts on a daily is not easy.I totally forgot about it but all is not lost. I will be briefing you about everything that has happened since then on my later posts.

By the way, my brother’s birthday is in 3 days. I call him my twinnie. We grew up together. Been through so much together. He has basically been my best friend for more than 20 years. I remember when we were kids, we’d get the same toys from my dad. My first toy was a police car and a chopper. We been bros lol. I don’t know what to get him but am hoping I’ll make his day. He’s just from complaining I don’t do anything special for him.I want to try and make his 22nd birthday extra special.

I still work as a radio presenter – on occasions, it’s complicated. Everything about my life is. I went back to school too. I am a first year student at The United States International University. I major in International Relations. My dream of bringing change to the world still exists. That’s the reason why I took the course. I want to be involved in making important decisions that will benefit the rest of the world.

I promise to always tell you the truth. You might be wondering why I am exposing my world to a bunch of strangers and I get that. I mean, I never really know who read my posts. It’s okay. My life is an open book. I am doing what a million of you out there are not able to do;tell the truth. I hope that through my real life experiences, that maybe just maybe some of you will be inspired.

One thing though. I will mention people in my life but because of privacy for their sake, I will use fake names.

Today hasn’t been one of the best days in my life.I am trapped. Trapped in a world only I understand.I am choking.I am gasping for air.I am suffocated. I am screaming. Screaming at the top of my voice.In my world, I don’t see the light. Darkness is all that surrounds me. I stand in front of you in pure nakedness, I expose myself to you, seeking comfort, relief, you don’t understand. My fears are palpable. The ‘I am sorry’ s don’t really help. You don’t understand me.

We are all fighting our owns demons. He’s all I have. He’s all I can rely on. That’s why my favourite bible verse is Psalms 27. When people fail you, only He picks you up.

I have an exam tomorrow. I haven’t really studied. I’ll try wake up early tomorrow morning. I want to dedicate an hour everyday to update you on my life. Thank you for passing by 💋

Again it’s nothing serious😉
Later! 💙💙💙

Miss Hopeless Romantic

30 May

Hey guys I haven’t posted in a while now. Been busy and all but here is my post tonight. It is 9:35 pm Saturday 30th May. I am a hopeless romantic and so I penned these words. I hope you love them.

Again it’s nothing serious😉
Later! 💙💙💙

“In this age of blurred lines and a whole
spectrum of relationships, can I just be allowed to want to have it all and to want to have him all to myself?

Can I just be allowed to want to have a little more shakespeare love experience the romance 2.0 kind of experience, the special and sweet kind of experience that still gets me excited when your name pops up on my messages?

Can I just be allowed to want that initial surprise the moment I feel your
arms touch that spot on my waist where my curves meet?

Can I just be allowed to want you to make me a bedtime phone call. It is super affectionate and very thoughtful. If you want me going to bed dreaming about you and not a famous guy I watched on tv. You’ve got my number. #CallMe😉

Can I just be allowed to want to part with your t-shirt. When you’re not around to cuddle, I like snuggling with
your clothes instead. Plus I am not going to pretend like I don’t feel cute wearing your oversized garments. Bonus points if they still smell like you.

Can I just be allowed to want some heavy petting – which I’d like to note
doesn’t require any attention except from your hands. That moment when you silence me with a kiss and carress every inch of my body. I love that.

Can I just be allowed to want my prince charming even though he doesn’t come with a sword. I find nothing wrong in wanting my prince charming to surprise me once in a while with a flower. Just a single flower. A rose flower. A white rose flower. White roses are my favourite🙂

Can I just be allowed to want you to come in a suit.Like once in a while. It’s just sexy. Plain sexy. Did I tell you when you give me your coat, it’s pretty much like foreplay? Oops🙂

I am confident, trust me but the feeling of being wanted by someone else is equally important. Don’t hold back anymore. If you want to push back a strand of my hair or lean in for a kiss just go for it.

I get nostalgic for the old-school tender gestures. And if you really want to seal the deal honey, could you pull one of these moves out of your boxer briefs? 😍

Can I just be allowed to want you? 😍”

Nairobi Life *sigh*

29 Apr

I am super pissed right now 😠😠😠

Okay I was super pissed about five minutes ago and after finally hearing the driver’s explanation, am cool now. So here’s the thing:

Every single day I leave the house at 7:00 pm so that I get to work early and do my preparations. Today I decide to leave an hour early so that I get a bus in time. I have no issue with matatus (buses) from Kasarani (my home) to town. I work in BuruBuru. Now that’s where the problem comes in. Usually all passengers make a queue to board the buses and there’s usually like five queues for different routes. Sometimes it takes me a whole hour standing on the queue. Well today it took me TWO WHOLE HOURS. Been standing in the cold in town on a queue wearing a short dress and freezing the entire time.

It started with the water. The water heater isn’t working and about an hour before I chuck the house, the gas runs out 😫. I am forced to take a quick cold shower. I hate cold water. I am afraid of cold water. I skip having my dinner because I wanna make it in time to town. I get to town okay but standing on the queue for two hours isn’t fun at all. Plus it’s the only day, the only single day I decide to wear a dress. Talk about freezing. By the way the weather in Nairobi town is so unpredictable it can rain anytime and am just not the umbrella carrying kinda person because I love small handbags. Now where will the umbrella fit? 😓

I know you are wondering why I never board the minibuses. Have you seen the matatus to BuruBuru. Loud blaring music – which to some extent is annoying, overspeeding… I just can’t deal. I love ‘Double M’ or the ‘CommuterTrain’ if you may because A. They are super super comfortable and B. I know the buses are driven by well trained drivers.

So the buses carry passengers from different routes by turn. I mean, the first bus that comes stops at the first queue, the second bus at the second and so on. So after waiting for our turn the driver stops at the wrong queue. That is when I knew I wasn’t the only pissed person there. Talk about cursing out loud lol. Getting into the bus, I take a seat near the driver. He starts explaining how the traffic was. I am seriously thinking of buying a motor cycle with my first salary :roll:😂😂😂. Pink to be precise so that I can stand out in traffic lol. Relieved I take out my phone and earphones. Music. New anthem –> Ojuelegba by Wizkid 🎵

So it’s all sorted out and within no time we are on our way. Just before leaving town the guy sitting next to me warns me about my phone. Stealing is common in Nairobi but these thieves are taking it a notch higher. Snatching phones from passengers inside buses. It has happened to me before. I remember I was so mad/annoyed I literally fell sick lol. My phone means so much to me. Fearing I might lose this one too, I keep it away till we are out of town and away from traffic. Ojuelegba in replay mode since I left town.

I am hungry. Wish I took my supper. But I guess i’ll drink coffe and maybe a muffin.

Lesson learnt. From today henceforth I am leaving the house at 8. That’s settled. Already here. About to alight. The driver is so friendly. Wishes me a lovely evening.

Another evening at work😀

Again it’s nothing serious😉
Later! 💙💙💙

26th April

26 Apr

Sunday afternoon.
Feeling kinda bad because I didn’t go to church today morning;reason is I overslept. Second week and I missed attending church AGAIN. This has got to change.

I am officially a radio presenter. One week into the job and every single day it gets to me. Really been exhausted alot lately. Hosting a late-night show and I love it but the crazy hours manh! Always up the entire night but I gotta grind y’know. Very important.

Listening to Kenny G’s The Moment. Classic 🎧🎷🎵.

A day ago when I was going to work, I came across this beggar on the streets of Nairobi. He had no lower limbs and he was crawling with a cup he held on his right hand meant obviously for the money he gets by begging. The other hand was shorter and I couldn’t help but stare. He passed me and I stood just staring at him. I felt so so so bad for him. I followed him and I had some little money it wasn’t much though but I gave him. I hope it helped him somehow. I remember just staring at him till I broke down. I was careful enough  not to get noticed shedding tears😦. He kept on crawling and crawling and crawling. I could see people dropping money into his cup. If there was a way I could have changed his life that night, I swear I would have. Sensitive much?! I know.

I realised how blessed I am. I got to appreciate everything I have. It is because of these little things I see everyday that I get to view life from a different perspective. It got me thinking alot too. If I ever get the chance to start a foundation to help the less fortunate in my society then I will.

I was talking to my bestfriend last night. Something about me loving too much. She told me when I love, I love too hard and that gets me hurt in the end. Her advice; I need to not let anyone in. Loving myself so hard till I got no space left for none. Truth is, she is right. That is the reason why I find it hard letting go of all brokeness, pain, deceit, heartbreak.

That is the reason why all guys who have been coming my way have been getting negative vibes. Keeping up this ‘hardcore’ act for a while till I feel like I finally have healed and ready to move on.

Looking foward to this coming week. Work and all.

I kinda updated my whatsapp picture. So its my elder sissie Nina carrying a baby’s friend. Sparked alot of questions lol. Some thinking I got paged. Oh so I have been lol-ing the entire time. Last night some Nigerian guy who works with my mom kept asking me if it was my baby and if I was married LOL. He even goes ahead and tells me his inlove with me and wants to marry me LOOOL smh!!! 😄😄😄.

This is his story. Well he’s been in Kenya for quite a while. Often goes to his country and comes back. Well he did business with my mom and that is how we met. He’s been hitting on me for sometime now. But I think he is just a liar who wants to toy around. I just got no time for him.

Rain. The weather has changed here. It’s the rainy season. Getting colder by the day. Done painting my nails. White. Change from the usual black. I love the new colour 💅.

That’s it for today I guess. Thanks again for keeping up with me.

Again it’s nothing serious😉
Later! 💙💙💙

5th April

5 Apr

Goodmorning. I send blessings your way my faithful readers 😘😘😘. Sunday morning. I overslept so I didn’t make it to church today. I think I am exhausted as well from my doings yesterday. Talk about yesterday. Epic!

I had fuuuuun! For the first time in my life ever I saw a Rolls Royce. That is one massive beast. Now i have new goals lol. I was blown away,totally blown away. Breathtaking. As soon as it entered the grounds everyone’s attention was drawn towards the silver Rolls. It was so funny how everyone was taking selfies. It caused so much commotion till Obina the funny Nigerian MC started making fun of us all :D:D:D. Peak of my day.

I love video games, cars,speed…Future husband take notes lol!

Oh and btw i kinda met someone🙂. Okay it’s no one special because we did meet before at a shoot. He had a nice ride by the way. Yeah he was competing as well. Thing is I was introduced to him by an ex (while we still dated) and we met again. We talked. ALOT. He seems pretty nice so eeeerhm yeah. He’s cute too :)… okay now I will shut up hahaha.

Okay so I’ll be indoors today not much to do. Did i tell you that i am reconsidering the job opportunity at Nice Fm? apparently they want me to do a late night show and my mom is so much against it. *Sigh* We’ll see how that one pens out.

Okay y’all be good. Happy Easter my lovlies xoxo 😘😍

Again it’s nothing serious😉
Later! 💙💙💙

2nd April

2 Apr

Hello there, I am very poor at making sure I post every single day. Been a minute there huh?! But I got a lot to update tonight.

I am nervous tonight. My head aches, my tummy hurts; I guess its the butterflies.

I auditioned for a presenter at Nyce Fm and I got shortlisted. Tomorrow I am going on air from 1-5pm. I have no idea how am  gonna pull that off. Honestly I am scared. I keep thinking about it. Alot! I keep praying for favour from God. I don’t know how i’ll do it but I know God is with me. I need him more than ever. I have wanted this for the longest time now. This is what I want to do. I keep mumuring these words from the bible, “…as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I know you are with me, your shepherd rod and staff, they comfort me…”

I feel like throwing up, is this even normal? I am sleep deprived, barely ate. It gets worse by the minute.

Rain! They say rain pours blessings from above. I hope tonight’s rain showers me with blessings.

I gotta go now. I trust you Lord. Pray with me if you read this.

Thankyou for keeping up with me. I love you.😍

Again it’s nothing serious😉
Later! 💙💙💙

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